I walked down the river and found two malls yesterday. An upscale one and one where the locals go. I preferred that one. The big one has a subway station in it so I went down to check it out. It is at least two stories underground. I had just gotten the best ginger tea in the mall and it was in a Starbucks looking cup with the lid and everything so I was just walking around, sipping my tea and trying to figure out how to purchase a ticket. Everything was really clean and I soon figured out why. I saw a sign with a cup and a plate with a big red X across it and it also said $500 fine! I headed for the nearest exit. Either it was my lucky day or they just took pity on the stupid tourist because no one said anything.
Y’all are going to have to indulge me on this one. The signage here fascinates me. Why can’t we all just say what we mean. Life would be so much simpler. The first thing I noticed was on the taxi ride from the airport to the hotel. There was a big digital sign over the highway flashing “Drive Safely. Think of your loved ones.” And then there was a sign at a restaurant. “Guaranteed live seafood.” No thank you. I don’t want to have to kill my dinner before I eat it.
A bar advertises itself as being happy, busy. Another one says it is “buzzy”. I think they need to team up.
I saw a Burger King but they said you can only have the flame broiled burger on Friday, Saturdays and Public Holidays. They had passion fruit sundaes though. I might have to try on of those.
A furniture store is named Completely Impressive Furniture. And it was. Another one was called The Bear Knows. Maybe the Bear does know, but I didn’t get it.
Instead of Yield the traffic signs say “Give Way”, The very best slogan goes to Hooter’s Singapore. “Delightfully Tacky. Yet Unrefined”. I want to be a marketing person in Singapore.